Thursday, December 6, 2012

A letter from mommy....

I miss you my sweet baby boy. My heart aches when I don't see you here where you always were. I wish I could pick you up and smell you and kiss your little belly. Your warm paws....

Thinking back I realize that you were not yourself for at least a month. We assumed that you were laying around because of the Prozac.  But a few weeks ago I just looked at you and I knew something was wrong. At the time you were not showing any signs of illness. It was just a gut feeling that I had but couldn't do anything with. You lost one pound in a month and again I assumed it was because of the Prozac. We reduced your dose and kept an eye on you. I pray to god that you were not in any pain. I would have done anything to have made it all go away for you.....and to do that I had to let you go. I couldn't put you through any treatments because we knew your personality. You didn't want anyone other that your mommy to touch you when you were outside of the house. Anything would have been pure torture and not worth it in the end. 

You were and will always be something special to me baby boy. I saw you crying on the sidewalk at just a few weeks old. We took you home and raised you and your sister. Turned out I couldn't give you up because you were mine. You were my baby boy. 

You will forever be in my heart. Please come and visit me in my dreams....

Love you forever,
Mommy


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